Well, I start work at 12pm yesterday. Others in the kitchen either start work at 7 am or 2 pm, so I am in the middle of both shift. Before they go for their lunch break at 12.30pm , Pat asked me to season the vegetables. And I thought I saw the way the others did before, so I know how to do it. Who knows, ,when I start to do it, then only I realize that I don't really know the exact way of doing it. OMG, I was all by myself, cooking the vegetables (should be seasoning) for 200 people. Really OMG OMG.
I started to on the power. I started with 350 F, I don't even know whether should I on it, or just mix the carrot, the long beans, squash etc together with Canola oil and lemon pepper seasoning. Arghh.. Then I just put everything in. The vegetables started to cook, I mean really cook. And only I realize that I shouldn't cook it. I should SEASON it!!!!
I started to panic. Then, I told myself, never mind. I will do better for the second round. I was really nervous. First time ever in POC I cook all by myself, somemore this is the first time ever in my life I cook for such a large amount of people. Tolonggggg... I was screaming in my heart, hoping that someone will come in the kitchen and save me!!!
Then, I cook the second round. This was much better than the first one, but still the vegetable are cooked. I don;t know what should I do. I started to think negatively, started to think how should I explain to Chef Pam and Chef Pat. Will Chef Pam send me to other kitchen or Seaworld will straight away give me a ticket to go back Malaysia.... I don't want to go back Malaysia so soon. Although I miss the food, family and friends there, I still want to be here. I enjoy here. Except for working.
My tears started to run in my eyes, and uncontrollably rolled out from my eyes. OMG, I cried. I thought I can stop after a few minutes after the silent cry. But things just doesn't turn out to be what I expected it to be. I cried even more. And at 1.30pm, they came back. I dare not look at them.
Chef Pat asked me whether am I alright. My eyes are filled with tears and RED. He knew something was wrong somewhere. Then Chef Pam also asked me what happened. I wanted to answer but suddenly I was speechless, and cried even louder. The emotional me was back. The Shin Yin that Ms Linda knew is back again. Shin Yin with uncontrollable tears, scary tears. The emotional girl is back.
I tried to tell them. I said:" I messed up with the vegetables", and cried even louder. I kept apologize to them, and told them that it was my fault. They looked at the vegetables and told me that those were fine, But I just feel so sorry to them. They kept saying that it was fine and asked me to calm down. I went to the restroom and cried even louder. The only person I thought of right at that moment was HIM. I wanted him to lend me is shoulder to cry, I wanted to hug HIM. I wanted to go to Deli at once. But I didn't right at that second. I knew if I leave the kitchen in my red eyes, I will scare everyone in the park, and in Deli, and of course him.
I started to calm down. Chef Linda came in the restroom and told me that it was fine. There is always a Plan B for the original plan, even if I burnt the whole thing, there is still enough time to cut the vegetables again and cook it for the night. She said that I shouldn't take things so hard.
I paused and ponder a while.
Well, true. Usually I take things very hard.
That was me.
I cried. Why am I like that?
I calm down, wash my face and went out. I apologised to Chef Pam. Others act as normal, I mean ignoring me as normal.
I feel so sad. The only 3 person that asked whether I am alright is Chef Pam, Chef Pat and Chef Linda.
Well, I didn't expect others to treat me that well.
Until 3 pm, I can't stand it already. I wanted to tell someone. I went to Deli. I saw him. He was working at the cashier. I told him about the incident briefly. I don't mean to scare him, but I just feel like telling him. Then I went Deli for lunch, alone. Really want him to accompany me to eat. Then, I can tell him the whole story.
Unfortunately, I was all by myself with my food, drinks, handphone, tv etc without anyone I know there.
He was the first one to know the incident among my friends, and until right now at this second, he is the only person that knew I cried yesterday.
At night, the vegetables was cooked to be serve. The long beans and peas were burnt. But Linda said it was alright. Well, actually, for me, I don't think it is alright. But, just forget about it.
Since everyone will make mistake. The most important thing is learn from mistake.
Although it is true, I think it is a lame excuse.
For the stupid me who find excuse for myself, and don't ask properly the way to do something, I suppose I will learn from this lesson and achieve personal growth.
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