xoxo

I shifted back to stay in hostel during this internship period..

No more at that place that suckssssss=D

Doesn't mean to be offensive to say that place sucksss,

but it is really not the place that I want to stay

Only now I realise hostel feels like heaven

xoxo Gossip Girlsss......

Sheikraaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! (edited Sat, 12/12/2009)

I WANT TO GO SHEIKRA NOWWWW!!!!!!

I WANT TO SCREAMMMMM...

very stress & tired oooo....

Miss here lotssssssssss..........

Internet

If u are wondering why I blog so many post today, hahaha.... well, since I didn't connect to internet since last monday, of course fully utilise the internet connection here at Starbucks, 1 Utama...

Intern cant access wireless at office, only can use LAN cable..and cant log in facebook in office... so, I am here in Starbucks today... =) to blog, log in fb, and check email...

I don't know why I can read my hotmail mails in office but cant reply... So funny....

However, didn't manage to upload some pic from my phone, showing the place I am currently staying since I left my cable in hostel!!! And my laptop no bluetooth (sure kena 'za' by LPM, saying my laptop so outdated, as the way she 'za' mee shan for not having bluetooth in MS laptop)...

Will upload next week la....If I balik hostel=)

3rd sem result

Though I thought I slacked the most this sem, the result this semester is the best among 3 semesters...

Cost information for decision making: 85 (HD)
Commercial banking: 80 (HD)
Financial Management: 80 (HD)
Company reporting: 78 (D)

Well, there is always a flaw in my results, always a small part that I am not satisfy... Always some flaws to perfect.. See, this time less 2 marks for company reporting to get HD...But at least, the internal marks for this sem is quite high compare to previous sem...

As mentioned earlier in "Mood Swings", since comp rep is my last paper, I didn't really have the mood to study.. And therefore ended up less 2 marks to HD... No blame... I've tried my best, and this time, internal marks for comp rep is so unexpectedly higher than average mark that all comp rep students get...So, though not very very satisfy with the 'less 2 marks' (which I am already used to it since secondary school time), I am satisfy with this sem results.. And my GPA and average mark has increased!!!! Hahahahahaha.... so happy la..........

First week internship at EY

I've spent more than Rm 300 on formal clothing for this internship... Aiks... I am spending like no one's business... Spending lots of $$$ in shopping (excluding those formal clothing) ..Why it is so difficult for majority of the girls to control themselves from the temptation of shopping???

And I am afraid I would end up like her... And gonna go for some counselling session, but I hope that is not going to happen to me though... Else, I would end up in debts..=(

So, the only way is DON'T GO SHOPPING MALLLLLLLL!!!!!! but it is imposible..Or else, how to buy groceries??

Ok, back to internship..

This first week of internship is really a good experince. Really learn a lot.. I have totally no regret in joining EY, despite the place I stay, and the inconvenience of taking public transport... Seriously, I am pretty sure I wont get such a fulfilling experince in any small auditing firm in Ipoh, and that's why I insist on joining EY after they offer me a place as vacation trainee (VT) here..

Well, this first week is not yet a busy one.. VTs and permanent staff were given briefing on the first 2 days, and I am placed at the TCE (technology, communication and entertainment) division.. I was totally no idea of auditing since I havent take my audit paper yet, but well, it sounds interesting when the EY staff tell us their experince as auditor in EY...

And of course, they did not forget to keep reminding us that this period gonna be very very busy, since it is year end... And we were told we must be prepared to work on xmas eve, xmas, new year eve, and definitely OT during this internship period... Well, I am prepared for OT d since the day I send my resume to EY... just that I didn't expect to work on xmas day itself...

When I started to talk with other interns, then only I realise a lot of them are from Monash, either sunway campus or those in Australia campuses... Those were back home to Msia during the long sem break... Of course, some of them from other Australia universities since this period is sem break for aussie uni... Well, but majority of them finished their 2nd year of studiess....So, no wonder i hardly know anyone coming EY for internship...

I was assigned simple job on wed afternoon and thurs, and not much to comment about those, it's just normal simple stuff, and by then only I seriously realise there is a long process to go before an audit report is done, and ready for publication!!!

Yesterday (Fri, 4 dec, 2009), my first day to go to clients place... OMG!!! It is a very very embarassing day!!!! History happen again....Embarrassing experience again like the one I face in POC in USA!!! I just don't understand why I can get so stress up, and uncontrollable...Duhhhh.......

Disclaimer: Of course not to mention the company name, and there is totally nothing to do with the company, any employee in that company, my senior... It was nobody's fault... It's just myself... My fault.. The stupid me.....

I was assigned a job to help another senior team in my division since they need help.. So, I was there in client's place.. My senior, K, give me briefing on what should I do. I was new, fresh, no idea on auditing at all... As she said: " U're very new..". Yupe.. I am. So, I am here to learn from the start, and ask whenever I have any doubts..

Ok, so, my senior K patiently teach me what should I do and the ways of doing it, and I am supposed to ask some info from clients to verify some info, which I wont be disclosing it here since that would definitely be private & confidential and I wouldn't want to end up to be in great trouble for revealing confidential info..

So, let's just focus on the embarrassing experience, I asked some info from the client and there is one part of it is regarding info on conversion of currency.. I am not sure how I gonna key in the info, and as I know from my senior, I have to ask info from client. So employee A give me the info.. Since this is the first time I am in client's place, and I don't exactly know how should I ask the info (it is not the problem of phrasing the sentence but some technical stuff), and in the end I have totally no idea what am I asking...And when I don't even know what am I asking, I can't expect ppl to understand what info I want right??? Then, at the time I am asking employee A about the info, employee B came, and therefore A ask B how/what info should she give me... And I don't really know how to ask her and end up asking 'weirdly'.. I think B is kind of person that speaks in strong tone, that's the way she talk, and as if she is angry or pissed off with someone... The way she expressed makes ppl think that she is scolding ppl or whatsoever la.. I know, it is not her fault la... Coz she is also expressing her doubts on my questions... And her tone is so strong that her colleague, A ask her to calm down.. Then, my senior K, which was doing her job with senior N in another room came out from the room and ask what happen..

At that time, I was so lost.. I feel so stupid.. Why can't I just handle my work properly and have to make up such a fuss and create trouble for others.. Giving trouble to employee A and B, my senior K and embarrassing EY as well... Senior K came out and asked what happened, and try to explain to A and B the info that I wanted...I suddenly feel so stressed up and tears drop, and symptoms of crying is there d...I know I will cry and try to stop it, but I have no control of myself... Duhhhhh... memang memalukan la... in front of senior and a few employees at clients place... Aiyoyooyoyoooo.... And as u know (and if u don't know, if I am stressed out and cry, means I cant stop. I will cry for at least half an hour, unlike if just tears dropping.. which can be wiped off)..

So, I try to control and control and control.... Listening to senior K explain to employee A and B.. And when I reach the maximum point, and I know that it is the worse point d... I need to hide.. I told senior K to explain to me later... I brought the laptop with me, went in the room where Senior K and Senior N is working, and crieddd... non stop crying..OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! So stupid la....how can I do this on my first day at client's place???? OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I reddened my eyes, and stop for a while, then hide in the toilet to continue crying... And back to the room a gain.... I am pretty sure the whole process take at least half an hour.... Haizzzzzzzz.... Is not that I don't want to stop, but it's just that I can't stop!!! Why ah?? Everytime also like this, since small till now also like this, in Ipoh also like this, in USA also like this.... Now going to step into my 20s d, also like this..... When will I grow ah??? When can I learn to control myself ah???

Nonetheless, at least, I know my weakness..

During lunch, senior N told me that this is alright, every junior will make a mistake.. It is good since u ask when u don't know. At least, ppl know u don't understand. It's much better than u keep everything to yourself and ended up doing everything wrong... Then, definitely will be scolded by seniors or boss....Senior K told me that B talks that way, she doesn't mean anything offensive.. Yes, I didn't blame anyone, i know it is my problem, and Ms Linda Loke (my piano teacher) was right. She told me this when I was Form 5,

"Shin Yin, since I know u so long, I know u will cry suddenly when u are stressed and can't perform what I expect from u.. But, what if other ppl who don't know u?? Ppl will be shocked or scared of by u when u cried out of sudden. U r a big girl already, don't cry so easily... U are no longer the small girl that I used to see 10 years ago..."

But why, until today, I am still like this?? Will I be like this 10, 20, 30, 40 years later????? Haizzzzzz.....

Anyway, the first day at client's place I really learnt..The small part that I did was just a minor procedure in auditing... There is definitely more to learn, more to gain, and I will be strong to survive in EY for this internship period...

Pre Internship at EY

Originally written on 1 Dec 2009, 8.15pm

Before I start describing my work, I got millions and trillions of complain with the new place that I am currently staying. I admit that if I weren’t doing internship at EY, I would NEVER EVER stay at the terrible, horrible place. This small room (well, small isn’t a big issue since I am only one person) is damn freaking terrible. I WON’T STAY here if I know I will stay here if I am a permanent employee for EY. At least 3 months (to be accurate, 2 months and 3 weeks) is not that long, though long 0.0. I’ve lots of 3 months experience so I wouldn’t consider 3 months is long. But who know, maybe at the end of the internship, I will feel that 3 months is FREAKING LONG… maybe?? Perhaps??

Ok, let me describe this terrible place.

The place I currently sitting to type this kinda ‘blog’, is a small place in this creepy room. And well, since no internet connection here, I have to do it in Microsoft Word, and later transfer it to my blog.. Memang kesiannnnnnnn!!!! Can u imagine?? NO INTERNET!!!

And this is the whole place that I am staying. Well, look at first sight doesn’t seem so terrible. That’s why I got cheated to stay here. The table, bed, cupboard ‘looks’ ok, just that it is made out of wood. Something similar to those tables and chairs during primary school. When I first saw, well though not so nice, I try to convince myself to stay here since I wanted so much to do internship at EY. I thought though it is so ‘woody’, I still can stand for 3 months. I am such a bad daughter, stubborn and reluctant to listen to parents, naively thinking that I can travel from sunway hostel to EY, and therefore no problem doing internship at EY. I even dreamt of driving to EY, sounds crazy right?? Since I didn’t drive so long in Ipoh, my mum also worried about my driving skills, if in kl, u guess can or not la…But then, as u know, the naïve me is so stubborn, unwilling to listen to my father, who is more expert in roads and ways in kl, pj, who told me that it is impossible to reach EY on time at 8.30 every morning by public transport. My parents persuaded me to work at one of the small accounting firm in Ipoh, which belongs to my dad’s friends. I was so stubborn to say NO!! And, only want to go EY since EY already accept my application.

So, my dad which manja me so much, who is always trying all his best to give me everything that I want if he can afford, terpaksa himself to allow me to rent a place outside. He told me all the trouble like I have to travel by public transport, safety issues (which I know it is damn unsafe in kl, pj or even subang, sunway area), everyday have to face the jam etc and also NO INTERNET CONNECTION!! Ok, and I am so stubborn and act strong and say that, never mind, I can handle all these, and I will be very careful with my own safety, which is the most my parents worried the most. So, in the end, I rented this freaking place, which I don’t think it is so terrible the first day I saw it.

My dad is such a great dad (and if ever I can, I will vote him as the greatest daddy in the world!!!!!!) that he helped me to find a place which has bus to reach EY. Since from what I know, only bus from Bangsar or Bandar Utama would reach EY, so both this choice is the place that I gonna rent a place. Bangsar, totally is a no no for me, as the rent there would be damn high since it is a known expensive high class residential area aka 高级住宅区. “Mr Gas (Guess)” is staying there, hahaha… if only u know who I am referring to…Lolxxxxx….So, ok, back to topic, so I have to rent a place around Bandar Utama, where I can sit bus U82 to Pusat Bandar Damansara, and walk around 5-10 minutes to reach Menara Milinium, where EY is located. Therefore, daddy saw there is a for rent sign outside this house, which is at Damansara Uptown and therefore jot down the contact number for me. Later then, I called, and the old man, this uncle said there is a room for rent. So, later at night, my beloved daddy bring me there to see whether I like the place and if everything is ok, then I’ll stay here temporary for the next 2 months and 3 weeks.

So, as mentioned earlier, I thought this place was ok, even though it is worse than hostel. At first visit, I feel this place is worse than hostel and I will either go back hostel or Ipoh on weekends, but if just to sleep here every night, I think I still can bear with it. So, I think, and discuss with my dad, and therefore ended up agree to stay at this place. An old couple, about 60++ years old rented this place for me. That uncle leh, half deaf punya, everytime talk to him, have to shout at his left ears,and even so, he would say, “I can’t hear, say louder!!” What the hell, I am shouting at your ears d, and u still want me to shout ah?? Seriously I would shout till u get even deaf lo… but he not blur one, esp about money. Then, keep praising his place and facilities, like tin siong yau, dei ha mou like that, where the place is not that good at all, and I know that (just dunno it is worse than what I perceived from first visit). Then his wife leh, lagi teruk, got Alzheimer 老人痴呆症. Always keep repeating what she said and very very long-winded lady.

The first time I knew that was during my first visit there.
She: Where u working ah??
Me: Ernst & Young
She: ooo..

Then not even 5 minutes, again,
She: Where u working ah??
Me: Ernst & Young
She: Very far one ah??
Me: No la, can take bus from the bus stop near your house..
She: Oh, that bus stop ah.. Next time, u stay here, I bring u there..
Me: ok ok (secretly thinking in my heart, Aunty, u think I still kid meh?? I know where is the bus stop la.. I go by myself can d la….)

Then, I pause a while,
Again,

She: Where u working ah??
Me: Ernst & Young
She: Very far one ah??
Me: No la, can take bus from the bus stop near your house..
She: Oh, that bus stop ah.. Next time, u stay here, I bring u there..Don’t worry, I’ll bring u there.
Me: ………

Few minutes later,
She: Where u working ah??
Me: Ernst & Young
She: Very far one ah??
Me: Errrr…..

Then, I knew something, she got Alzheimer..

Then I tak boleh tahan d, and go in to see ‘my room’, see whether satisfy or not. After everything, I told my dad “ok la”… then, confirm to rent lo..

That aunty repeatedly asked me twice where do I work, and “promise” to bring me to the bus stop…Duhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So, this was during Nov…

Now, last night till this morning, my first night sleep here. And then only I know how terrible this place is!!!

Ok, dirty place, can sweep, can mop, that’s fine. But OMG, I have to dry the mop with my own hands??? WTH!!! I don’t even do that at home, neither at hostel. Even national service also no need la…. And now, I have to do it at your house, Uncle, ur house seriously damn cacat lo… After all the clean up, then go and take a shower, thought of getting a nice, warm shower. Mana tau, tak ada heater!! And crazy, the day before only JY asked me that question, and I thought there is heater there.. WTFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!! Use running water lo.. Ei, I only occasionally bath with cold water la… Crazy@@.. but then, ok, that’s fine. I can one, NS also everyday bath cold water. Last time camping in Cameron Highlands also take bath using cold water, some more it is raining in addition to the cold weather. So, ok, 2nd trouble also never mind, I can bear with it.. 2 months and 3 weeks only ma……..

Then, at night, I sleep early since no internet, avoid watching vcd since I know I won’t stop watching and I would probably end up watching in the midnight. Then in the end, I couldn’t wake up early, which I worried most since I wake up late since week 13, and getting even worse after I finish exam.

Hence, I switch off the lights and go to bed. Wah, so dark one. Finally I understand the meaning of 伸手不见五指 (can’t see your 5 fingers when u stretch your palm open). Ok, fine. I scared, seriously. Because even at home or at hostel, when u switch off the lights, u still can slightly see, unless electricity broke down, which I seriously scared and will just go to bed at once. Ok fine, I can take it.
Then, as I sleep on the bed, then only I realize that fan is freaking noisy!!!!! Which I don’t realize all the while, since I am busy unpacking my stuff.. Wah, this one seriously cannot tahan lo….. The noise is freaking irritating that I cant sleep the whole night. I use blanket to cover my eyes, but that noise is still damn loud. Then, I off it… Finally, PEACEEEEEEE!!!! But then, freaking HOTTTTTT!!!!! How to sleep ah…ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow still have to go work la…So, instead of sleeping, I “consistently” wake up to on and off the freaking noisy fan. Gilaaaaaaaaaa, macam mana nak tidur oh?????

Besides the stupid fan, then I realize when I slightly straighten my body to sleep, my leg kena the end of the bed. Wei, I never ever face this problem before lo… NS also better than here!! Uncle, how if u rent this place to a guy which is taller than me?? Siao ah?? How to sleep when your leg feels so uncomfortable?? Some more your bed so shaky, how to sleep o??? Then, I have to curl a bit and sleep, which is so uncomfortable. So, from 11 pm to 4 am, I was constantly changing my sleeping position, on-ing and off-ing the fan…and finally, I got so tired, and I dozed off…

When I am sleeping so soundly and in my whatsoever dreamland, my handphone alarm ringsss.. At 6.30 am. Aiyo, I just fall asleep la…so fast have to wake up d… Haizzzz…Ok, this is fine. I’ve chosen this job and therefore I have to wake up. No complain for this but the stupid night just make me so pissed off.

So this morning, I woke up, prepare everything, etc… and then just before I left the house (almost 7.30am), that Aunty was downstairs, at the kitchen.

She: Ei, today u go work ah??
Me: Yes (u asked few times d last night, aunty!!)
She: Wah, u work so early one ah?
Me: oh…

Then I quickly avoid her in case she asked me tones and tones of questions or tell me her grandmother story. I go and grab my stuff and go to the bus stop (luckily she didn’t say I bring u to the bus stop, if not, I have to listen to her talking again).. If I continue listen to her, I think I gonna go crazyyyy@.@

生日看性格

Got this email from a friend,

12月25日(海王星☆战车〕
代表人物：沙达特（埃及总统）

具有丰富的想象力，
追求不断成长和进步；
喜欢冒险和旅行，
接受各种不同的挑战，
追求不平凡的人生经历。

优点是:
一心一意想要成功，
不怕辛劳和吃苦，努力不懈。

缺点是:
情绪太紧张，不容易放松；
想太多，有点不切实际。

Well, how true is it??

Mood swings

Moody, moody me,

instead of studying,

I'm blogging and facebook-ing...

Haizzzz....

Really no study mood for the last paper

人生如戏，戏如人生--> Life is like a movie

Just substitute the remote control with laptop,
and instead of BudLight, I prefer chocolate^.^

OMG, abandoned this blog for more than a month...Sorry ivy, just feel too lazy to update though there are happenings around me, and new thoughts in my mind..Well, sometimes I just cant get through the laziness. Will try to be more consistent@.@

Many happenings recently, different kind of feelings at all times...
Both pleasant & unpleasant..Wondering why they dont have the 'tag' thingy as in facebook?? Then I can tag my feelings right now...

Shocked
***
Worried
***
Happy yet uncertain
***
Exhausted
***
Slacking
***
Confused
***
Lonely

Shocked to hear the terrifying news about Irene. All I can do is to pray hard for her, hope she can get through this serious illness. The only thing I can say is "Life is unpredictable".

Worried about my exam as I am doing stuff too last minute... But thank god, 3 down, 1 to go. And that's it for this sem. Well, I never ever study so last minute for exam...And wondering since when I start to slack. And why things can be so so so complicated??? Why things are getting more and more complicated, confusing as we grow?? Is this the way we should mature??

Exhausted with the happenings around me. Problems here n there. Friends, family, myself, my future as in short term and long term. Haizzzz... Don't feel like thinking it, but can I?? Do I have the choice to avoid?? NOOOOOOO!!!!!! I have to think about it sooner or later

And I am worried. Can I organise the photo shooting contest and make it a success?? And everything have to be settled by February next year?? Can I do it?? This is the major concern. I have no idea how to do it. I am worried whether can I achieve others expectation. I am totally out of my mind in getting sponsorship. I have been doing this since few months ago, and no outcome, no result, no progress. No even a single sponsorship.
Why people can do, but I cant?? Am I just underestimating myself, or am I actually overestimating myself that I am able to be the organising chairperson for this event. But think twice, why she can make "..." a success, but I can't even do a photo shooting contest? Am I going to lose to her again?? I DON'T WANT!!

Just being too exhausted with everything around me..

But wait a minute,

There is at least one pleasant happening..

I got an offer for internship in Ernst & Young for approximately 3 months during my summer break. It was quite fast as I got a call from EY after about a week I rejected the admin job in Deloitte. It is quite unexpected to receive a call that fast as it is difficult to get a job in the current economy situation..

Well, blessed me.. Have a good working experince in EY. Though I know auditing work is tough, torture, sleepness night etccccc... Anyway, I am prepared for the challenge!!!

"BE PREPARED"
~Guide motto~

EY!! I am coming to learn soon^.^

Life's brief candle

Just heard a news from a friend. A Monash student was knocked by a car this Wednesday, died today. He was a friend of few of my friends. Though I don't know the person, I feel sad. Rest in peace.

He was knocked by a car, and died. He was crossing the road that I cross everyday. OMG!! Unbelievable!!

Life is short. We cannot predict what will happen in the future. We don't know how tomorrow is going to be. We don't know how things might change. We don't even know what might happen the next second.

People keep thinking what they want to be in the future, be rich, be famous, be successful etc... But, why people don't seems to think about the current situation? Why people don't appreciate what they have right now, and keep thinking about the future? I am not saying that it is not good to think about the future, what I meant is that besides thinking about the future, can't we just think about NOW? Cant we just appreciate what we currently having instead of complaining about everything surrounding us which seems unsatisfactory?

For example, people complain they don't like their current life, but then who can guarantee their future life will be less tough than now? Who knows what will happen the next day? Who knows??? The life that u are complaining everyday might be the life that many people desire to have. So, please stop complaining!!

So, just some of my opinion and learned something, besides keep thinking my future, do appreciate my current life.

Appreciate my family, love my family. There are the one that will always support me whenever or whatever I do.. Appreciate my true friends as they are the pillar of my soul.. They are the one that listen to my crap and problems. They are the true ones that are willing to listen to me, share my joy and sorrow.

Do call home more frequent, do visit family more often, do call your friends and keep in touch more frequent. Never forgot anyone that is important in your life!!

No Pain, No Gain

No pain, no gain.

Accept the pain, future will be fruitful...

Don't feel the work u are doing is pain,
because there will be always a reason for that pain.

So,

Face the pain, for the pain u face,
there will be definitely happiness ahead.

Love these sentences a lot.. Receive this email from a secondary school friend...

Yupe, the pain u face right now makes u stronger, tougher.

"BE PREPARED"
"BE TOUGH, BE STRONG"
~Girl Guide motto~

Embrace the pain, and u will feel happiness in the future.

"You reap what u sow"

That's what I always believe. So, accept whatever in your life right now.

Appreciate what u have now, as u might lost it in the future.

Appreciate your family.

Appreciate your uni life (less than 2 years to go).

Appreciate your TRUE frenz and just ignore those bullshit.
Those bullshit who ruined your life will face the consequences one day.

Appreciate your LIFE, as u wont know what will happen tomorrow..

给我一首歌的时间 by 周杰伦

歌手名:周杰伦
专辑名:魔杰座

雨停下的天空 灰的更加老旧
你说你不懂为何在这时牵手
我晒干了承诺 灰的更加懵懂
就算做事做错也只是怕错过

在一起走 分开了走
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛
你若退后 我能承受
在最后的出口 在爱过哪儿才有

能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里 不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应

能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪 让他留在雨天
越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点

被淋湿的天空 灰的更加老旧
你说你不懂我为何在这时牵手
我晒干了承诺 灰的狠冲动
就算做事做错也只是怕错过

在一起走 分开了走
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛
你若退后 我能承受
在最后的出口 在爱过哪儿才有

能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里. 不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应

能不能给我一首歌的时间
把歌词听到最后再说再见
你送我的眼泪 让他留在雨天
越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点

你说我不该不该不该在这时候说了我爱你
要怎麽证明我没有说谎的力气 请告诉我
而暂停算不算放弃
我只有那一天的回忆

能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里 不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
能不能给我一首歌的时间
哦 把歌词听到最后再说再见
你送我的眼泪 让他留在雨天
哦.越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点

你说过我不该
在这时说爱你. 要怎麽证明我没有力气
可是暂停却算不算放弃
我说我不该不该. 不该在这时才说爱你
要怎麽证明我没有力气
我只有一天回忆

独自作战很苦啊

Why the company reporting assignment looks easy but it is damn hard??

"Discuss how financial reporting satisfies the information needs of users in not more than 1000 words" in a formal research essay.

Seems lots to write but seriously it is so broad. Broad scope but dunno how to start, dunno what to emphasize. Lecturer want us to ask tutor. Tutor pula tell general thingss... I want people feed me la..

Stress life in Monash is getting worse!!!

Looks easy but have to give journals evidence to support....Haizz.....Damn difficult to find la!!!

My gang only 2 person majoring in accounting.. Then she haven't read question yet. Other friends also haven't start, else dunno how to do. Don't seems like want to discuss. But then due next wednesday wor....U guys seriously haven't start??

Doing assignment alone is very pitiful oh...

As time passes, I love finance more than accounting though finance is also very complicated.....

Pool game

It's not swimming pool, as in

but this

Wondering when I can be this pro??? As my skill still sucksss la...

Sobzzzz..

Today, I meant 4 Aug, 2009, was the 3rd time I played pool game. It was after BOD meeting. Well, of course this is not my first time, though it look as if this is the 1st time I play pool game.

My 1st game was in Cumberland, and 2nd time at the same place as well.

My 1st game n Cumberland, with Steve, Geovision person-in-charge.
Felix, me, T-Yee, Kevin, Steve, Emily, Eva, Lee Ming, Shane, Rui Yang

Miss the times we were there lotsssss...

I love to play there. At least it is not smoky, and much better environment.

Today, I was playing at the place above Asia Cafe. Smoky, dirty and my nose & lungs is suffering. As if I gonna kena lung cancer/nose cancer sooner. Why such place and be so stinky. And I just don't understand why people like to smoke..

And my hair, clothes, pants, bag is so damn stinky.. Just really really hate those stinky place.. N when I was back home, I guarantee my housemates n roommate can smell my stinky body, n my roommate admit it la... Haiz.. Makes people think I go smoking then ruin my image..

But to be frank and truthful, I am not smoking!!!

Smokers only making others die sooner and himself/herself will die sooner as well.. Wth... Anyway, the focus of this post is not to talk about smoking n cigarette, but pool game. Though feels that place suckssssss!!!!


Aiyoyo.. my skills really sucks, my hand position also not correct...Haiz.. Actually quite embarrassing la.... And Melissa is a real pro, like the tall South African girl, Nicole.. My sifu(s) as well (Rui Yang n Eva, thanks lots =)....)

But anyway, I don't care or mind embarrassing. I want to play.. Hahaha... Or else, still got 2 years then graduate, not much opportunity to have fun d.. Have to work hard n earn $$$..

I am still in conflict. My assignment due next wed n still I play pool today. This coming Saturday still got Installation.. Wth?? Really busy with Leo Club things.. Am I neglecting studies?? Well, please don't!! Play n relax but NO PROCRASTINATING & NEGLECTING STUDIES

Ok, well, if got chance, I'll improve my skills la..

6 people went pool game... But 5 played...Tze Yuen don't want to embarrassed in front of us..lolx.. Accompany me ma.... Hahahaha..

Others are Melissa, Jason, Boon Hoe, Willie...

I played one game with him.. Yupe, at last, totally no more feel towards him d...N I started to talk to him d, though a bit reluctant..hehe..

No choice la.. Every week also have to see him, takkan quit Leo because of him, right?? N takkan never ever talk to him?? If it is so, then damn stupid la...

Tomorrow got Tropicana meeting at 6pm again, n have to see him as well....

So, have to talk to him sooner or later...

Might as well break the ice lo..

Seriously, dating that time also didnt have so much fun together, but it is after broke up only went for activities with him...

I am really terbalik la..

Proposal Daisakusen 求婚大作战

Just downloaded Proposal Daisakusen 求婚大作战.. 11 episodes, and I've watched 1 episode.

So far so good, sounds a bit like his story, no wonder he likes this series so much, and thought of proposing to her girl using the ideas from the series..

YL said 90% of guys said PD is good but 80% of girls dislike this series...Wondering why???
What about me?? I dunno, but I know he likes this very very much, though he didn't tell me...
I'm observant, though he always says he is very observant.
So do I, ok??? Mr Jason Wong Kin Weng

Let me finish all episodes n will update it..

Well, these are the posters..






The main actor is handsome n the main actress is beautiful...Like me... Hahahaha....

The correlation chart is quite blur...

The name list of the cast, though I don't know them:

Cast

• Yamashita Tomohisa as Iwase Ken
• Nagasawa Masami as Yoshida Rei
• Eikura Nana as Oku Eri
• Hiraoka Yuta as Enokido Mikio
• Hamada Gaku as Tsurumi Hisashi
• Matsushige Yutaka as Itou Matsunori
• Konno Mahiru as Shibata Sachiko
• Watabe Gota as Socrates
• Miyazaki Yoshiko as Yoshida Reina
• Morimoto Leo as Yoshida Takanori
• Mikami Hiroshi as the Yosei/Fairy
• Fujiki Naohito as Tada Tetsuya
• Kikuchi Kenichiro as Nishio Tamotsu
• Sakai Toshiya as the taxidriver
• Kano Eiko (狩野英孝)
• Shinoe Keiko (しのへけい子)
• Nakazawa Junko
• Inamoto Yayoi (稲本弥生)
• Hamada Maki (浜田麻希)
• Fujikura Sachiko (藤倉幸子)
• Traore Issa (トラオレ・イッサ) as the marathon runner

Source from http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Proposal_Daisakusen

Stupid questions

Please don't ask me stupid questions...

I will tell u I have a blog, but I wont let u know the address unless I think it is time for me to let u to know it...

This is the place where I write out my feelings whenever I feel to do so...

I don't like to keep updating it.. It's like there is another homework that I must do every week if I were to blog often. I don't like these restrictions... It is MY FREEDOM to blog or not to blog...

Please don't make this my routine...

I have lots to do..

I don't need people to read my blog to know about me...

If I want u to know about me, I'll tell u...if I feel to do so...

No point revealing everything to people and let people know me through my blog..

Or else, what's the point of having real friends??

***********************************************

Just saw his blog, he finally admitted in his blog that I am not the one.
Yupe, true, that's what I feel as well..

And I know who is the girl finally, she looks like her 3rd ex... Maybe the 3rd ex looks like the girl , that's why he was with her... But at least he enjoyed his times with the 3rd one....Not me... Sobssss... Anyway, I am over the grief d, so that post doesn't really affect me...

Just thought of new goals in life..

• Be more sporting, active, meet new people to search for Mr Right.
• Besides studying, there's lots more to do. But never neglect studies.
• Time to learn about REAL life.
  
• Enter PWC.
• Find TRUE LOVE..

Where is the LOVE???

Goals in life

Everyone has his/her own goals in life.. Well, People will try their best to achieve their goals, to be successful in life. Different people have different goals in life. Your goal might not be my goal, and even if we have the same goal, we might not use the same route to achieve the goals.

After 2 weeks, and after pondering rationally, I admitted I was not in a conscious mind when I phone CX that morning. I was out of my mind, maybe the alcohol effect is still there... That's why I am so frustrated and so not myself, or maybe yes, it is ME.. Janice Teh Shin Yin... But it is definitely not the Janice that people use to see.....But, it is the inner Janice...

Luckily, she understands me, my feel, that's why it is always the person that knows you long long time that understands u... Perhaps, understand the true person u are...

I admit u are not my Mr Right. I knew this since the 1st month we were together.. But then, I still be with u... Having the naive thinking that we might work, but I know, we wont, and I still be with u... Those were the days we were happy to be together...

However, there are some important things that I wan2 tell u some time ago, and I don't think I will have the opportunity to tell u, or perhaps the courage to tell u...

1. U ask me whether do I feel pressure if u talk about our marriage during our 1st dinner in Sunway Pyramid... Frankly speaking, I don't feel the pressure as I told u, but I didn't tel u the reason, right?? Coz u are not the type of guys that I dream to marry..However, I really like u at that time..
2. U ask me to go for the KK trip and Sandakan as well.. Seriously, I feel like going Sabah for a trip, but not to meet ur parents in your house, I mean to meet your parents in Sandakan.. Coz at that time, I don't feel we are so deep in love until I gonna meet ur parents... And I knew, at that time, u really want me to go Sabah.. Even wanted to sponsor my air ticket there... Well, but I just don't feel we were at that stage..
3. For once, I scolded u for cursing me unable to get married, and u asked me to marry the person behind me, which is U.. I enjoyed being hugged by u at that moment, I just really appreciate those moment u hugged me, I feel being loved, at least some time ago... But then, again, it is too fast to talk about OUR marriage, something that I know will never occur.. And well, my hypothesis is true.. We will not make a good couple.. We are just not the right one for each other..
4. U always try to ask me to talk about my problems, how I feel.. Well, when it is the time I don't really feel like telling u, I wont say a word, coz there is total blank in my mind..I got nothing to say.. I just wanna u to hug me, to comfort me, to be there with me...However, there are times where I really want to tell u how I feel, but then u were not free to listen to me, even when I begged u... At that time, i seriously told myself, u are not my Mr Right... We will never tie the nuptial knot.. We will never be together FOREVER....
   

Problems tend to occur....

I knew I am not the one in your heart.. Even u said that right at that moment, I am the only person in your heart... Please, I am a girl, a girl which has her common six sense, who can feel something which is not right there.... I knew there is someone very important in your heart at that moment, but I don't know who the person is.. How she looks like? Why u like her so much? What makes u so in love with her? How both of u met? How attractive she is?

But anyway, I just tell myself, I just want to appreciate my time with u... My first love... Though my time with u is not romantic as I wish, at least, I achieve my goal... To date a guy before 20 years old... Lolx... kind of consoling myself... But then, again, I learned a lesson...

TRUE LOVE only occurs when u really know the person,
and the person really knows u...

Found this poster online.. Like it very much and feel like posting it here


There should be TRUST in true love..But I don't trust U Love Me

Everything happened too fast. We are in a relationship when I know u for 2 weeks. I don't know what's your favourite food, your favourite colour, your hobby, your thoughts etc... Neither u know mine... And I wonder how can we really be long lasting...

And we ended fast too... Though expected...

I didn't cry nor feel wasted to end our relationship... Coz I know there is no true love between us.. The days that I cried were over....

Nonetheless, there were still times that I remember our memories....

I learned a lesson from our relationship..
My Mr Right is the guy that I really want to be with for the rest of my life...

The romantic guy, the one that cares me, loves me, tease me, console me, tolerate me, sincere with me, be my side whenever I need him.. And I'll be there with him whenever he needs me too...

Mr Right, where r u?? The guy that loves me for everything that I am...

Finally, everything is over...

Yupe, finally I ended my relationship with him. Our about 3 months relationship.


Well, actually our good times together were just 1 month. The other 2 months is just cold conversation between us, and even less conversation that a normal friend will do.

Not only u pondered our relationship. I did that as well. I am thinking and thinking during the times before exams and even after exams..especially during the holidays. U were right, we do not have the spark d... We are no longer in love with each other.

U know from the beginning that I wont marry u...
U know from the beginning that I did not notice u...
U were the one that bring to my attention that u like me...
U were the one that let me know u there is someone there that take notice of me....
U were the one that make me feel being loved by a guy, even though that's just a month....

Finally, everything is over... I feel so stupid for thinking about the date that we should break up..
Thinking of giving us some time to feel the way we felt before... And u told me that u have a lot of thoughts during the holiday...

I knew that. It's just the timing to say the things.... The issue that haunted me for almost 2 months...

Finally, there is an end..

Yupe, we are over..

Jason & Janice is part of history....






Anyway, thanks for the times we had together..
At least i date a guy before 20 years old...
At least i fulfil my dream, though not the Valentines' Day dream...

Found something interesting.....

Downtime quiz: June 2009
1.Which country produces 70 per cent of the world's silk? (1pt)
2.Jimmy Wales and Larry Singer founded which website in 2007? (1pt)
3.In which country was Greenpeace founded? (1pt)
4.What colour is the letter L in the standard Google logo? (1pt)
5.Name the oil tanker that ran aground off Alaska in 1989 and is still the subject of compensation claims? (1pt)
6.What is the latin phrase for the way something is done? (2pts)
7.What does WAP stand for in mobile phone technology? (2pts)
8.Name Japan's largest island. (2pts)
9.Chrometophobia is an unnatural fear of what? (2pts)
10.What country effectively went bankrupt due to its banking industry collapse? (2pts)
11.Who was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize? (5pts)
12.Where did the American expression 'a buck', to describe a US dollar come from? (5pts)
13.In which year did the UK hand sovereignty of Hong Kong to China? (5pts)
14.What is the oldest trophy in an international sporting event? (5pts)
15.What company was originally named the Computer-Tabulator-Recorder Company? (5pts)

Answers: 1. China 2. Wikipedia 3. Canada 4. Green 5. Exxon Valdez 6. Modus operandi 7. Wireless Application Protocol 8. Honshu 9. Money 10. Iceland 11. Marie Curie with husband Pierre for physics in 1903 12. Deer skins were common currency in frontier America 13. 1997 14. The America's Cup for yachting 15. IBM

Extracted from http://www.cpaaustralia.com.au/

Reference: June 2009, volume 79:05, p.71
Page last updated: Wednesday, 27 May 2009

*******************************************************

My general knowledge is bad....Only able to answer 4 questions..lolxxx

What am I doing right now??

I don’t know whether is it the right choice for me to be with u, but definitely I ENJOYED (that’s past tense, ok) the times we WERE together.

I don’t like the way u treat me now. I feel abandoned.. U never care me, u just think I am ur toy , maybe…

Why dating can be so happy for other people but not me?? I wonder is there something wrong with me, or u, perhaps it’s our problem

I don’t know whether should I break up with u?? Can u tell me the answer? Do u wan2 break up? Do u still love me? Do u still care me? I mean will u care me, since u never care me at all…. Maybe u r fed up of me, or there is another girl or girls that interest u more than I do…

Its almost 2 weeks that we never sms each other, never talk to each other.. I really miss u.. Do u miss me?? Maybe I am asking something that I know the answer is U NEVER MISS ME..

Well, and just only I realised, I didnt post anything here since the day I date with u. Perhaps, they weren't sweet memories between us OR perhaps, u r not the one that makes me feel so in love that I would like to share OUR love with others.

U r not romantic, not caring, not lovely, not my man.. NEVER in the past nor in the future!!

Anyway, neither did u post anything about me in ur blog, so,

"ITS FINE".

No reason

I changed my mind out of a sudden.

I want to forget u!!

At least, never ever feel missing u anymore.

I know I should do that. In fact, I should never ever like u.

This is not an April fool joke.

This is true.

Trying hard to forget u, and

I want the times we were together slowly faded from my memory.

I don't want to feel the pain of remembering our times together.

I hope this is the last time I say "I MISS U!!!'

Never ever again.

The reason I do this, well,

ONLY I KNOW

I'm missing u..

I saw u in the library this morning. Wearing a black T, me too...
The black Ts, which are bought in the same place, I mean.....
U'll understand. I assume..

I went in the same comp lab with u, but didn't say 'hi' to u.

Maybe u didn't see me.

I don't know what should I say besides 'hi'.

Wanna tell u 'I miss u', but I don't have the courage!!

Anyway, I really really miss u!!!!

Hope u are fine with all the assignments and stuff

I MISS U!!!!

Assignmentsssssssssssss!!!

Arghhhhhhhhhh....

How to start my assignments?

The books are here, the articles have found, the textbook is right in front of me.

But

I don't know how to start?

I tried.

It sounds so long-winded.

I tried to cut it short, to be precise, but no way. Still long.

That's only the intro and 10% of the contents, but it is really long wohhh...

How?
How??
How???

How to start??

I want to get HD for the assignemts.

Please.........................

MGW1010--> Long intro, but failed to cut short.
BTW1200--> Don't know the cases, how to start? Contract also haven't learn.
AFW1002--> Haven't even look at the questions. Don't even understand CCA, how to do???
AFW1300--> Can't even find 4 to 5 members in the group. Discussions?? Maybe ages later.

Aizzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Chammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..

TOLONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In addition, today the whole day only study Chapter 3 Deposit-taking institutions.
But,

Don't understand at all..

Wth did u study?? Huh???

No hasil taday

And

For the past few days.

Random post, coz feel like relaxing after a hectic but useless day

Critical Thinking

Well, I grown up in an environment where critical thinking is not the main way of study. We just churned out everything from the textbook and rewrite it in exams. That's why there are a lot of 11As, 12 As 16 As people around the country.

But to be frank, there isn't lot of us that are critical thinker. No wonder it is difficult for HR to employ quality employees though there are tonnes and tonnes of graduates in the market. Well, unlike western countries like US, UK, etc countries where students are more independent, study by their own and less dependent on the lecturers or tutor, Malaysian tends to be more dependent. They like to be spoon feed. I don't mean to be offensive, but majority are like that. It is not all the problem of the student. The education system needs to be responsible as well.

Actually, I admit I am more independent than other friends in studying by myself. It is just that I hardly apply CRITICAL THINKING. Just that sometimes it is quite difficult when u are studying alone, or with a gang of friends who are not critical thinker as well, and critical thinkers have their own gang and does not want to include u in the gang, and study in hostel where there is often people walking up an down and distract your concentration. Moreover, with a library or study room where people chat more than self study and last but not least, a weird roommate who walk in and out the room, constantly distracting u from studying.

Life in Monash is tough. It is like u are given all the opportunities here, the platform to success is in front of u and the only thing u need to do is take the initiative to grab the chance and have the courage to step on the platform. But it is ME again. I don't appreciate what I have now. I don't grab opportunities. I let go chances.

Eg. we are allowed to express ourselves freely in class, clear any doubts but WHY I remained silent. Well, maybe I dont understand the topic, but I can ask. Why don't I ask? Why I remain silent. I need to change myself. I need to learn to be brave to talk. I am not like that last semester. At least I am only quiet in marketing class, but for this semester. I only talk in Money & Capital class and sometimes in management class. Why I become worse? Why I wont appreciate opportunities? I am here, in Monash University, to LEARN, not keep quiet.

I need to apply critical thinking in my studies. Not merely study and churned out everything from the book. Analyse the question.

1. Why CCA is relevant but not reliable.
2. Why there is a need to seperate profit from operation and realised cost savings?
3. What is negligence?
4. How to prove a person is negligent?
5. What is the examples of cases?
6. How u apply the case?
7. How to give examples?
8. What is remoteness?
9. What is human skills?
10. How managers apply human skills?
11. What is the strength and weakness of the concepts by Fayol, Mintzberg and Katz?

AND

Last but not least

Why I am not a critical thinker?
Why I don't think?
Why I always don't appreciate what I have?
Why I always let go chances?
Why I am still single?
Why I don't make use of what I have?
Why I always complain but it is so difficult for me to improve?
Why I am not doing what I want to do as said in my New Year Resolution?
Why? Why? Why?

Doubts..............

************************************************************************************

It's been a month since I last saw him. I was happy at that moment. But he didn't see me.

Well, I did not call him though I see him.

Why?

Shy?

Or don't know what to say??

Anyway, I saw him at just a glance and that is enough for me d...

I know he likes me

but

maybe

he does not want to be in a relationship at this moment

The emotional ME

Yesterday was the first time ever I cried so terribly since a long long time (I don't even remember when is it).

Well, I start work at 12pm yesterday. Others in the kitchen either start work at 7 am or 2 pm, so I am in the middle of both shift. Before they go for their lunch break at 12.30pm , Pat asked me to season the vegetables. And I thought I saw the way the others did before, so I know how to do it. Who knows, ,when I start to do it, then only I realize that I don't really know the exact way of doing it. OMG, I was all by myself, cooking the vegetables (should be seasoning) for 200 people. Really OMG OMG.

I started to on the power. I started with 350 F, I don't even know whether should I on it, or just mix the carrot, the long beans, squash etc together with Canola oil and lemon pepper seasoning. Arghh.. Then I just put everything in. The vegetables started to cook, I mean really cook. And only I realize that I shouldn't cook it. I should SEASON it!!!!

I started to panic. Then, I told myself, never mind. I will do better for the second round. I was really nervous. First time ever in POC I cook all by myself, somemore this is the first time ever in my life I cook for such a large amount of people. Tolonggggg... I was screaming in my heart, hoping that someone will come in the kitchen and save me!!!



Then, I cook the second round. This was much better than the first one, but still the vegetable are cooked. I don;t know what should I do. I started to think negatively, started to think how should I explain to Chef Pam and Chef Pat. Will Chef Pam send me to other kitchen or Seaworld will straight away give me a ticket to go back Malaysia.... I don't want to go back Malaysia so soon. Although I miss the food, family and friends there, I still want to be here. I enjoy here. Except for working.

My tears started to run in my eyes, and uncontrollably rolled out from my eyes. OMG, I cried. I thought I can stop after a few minutes after the silent cry. But things just doesn't turn out to be what I expected it to be. I cried even more. And at 1.30pm, they came back. I dare not look at them.

Chef Pat asked me whether am I alright. My eyes are filled with tears and RED. He knew something was wrong somewhere. Then Chef Pam also asked me what happened. I wanted to answer but suddenly I was speechless, and cried even louder. The emotional me was back. The Shin Yin that Ms Linda knew is back again. Shin Yin with uncontrollable tears, scary tears. The emotional girl is back.

I tried to tell them. I said:" I messed up with the vegetables", and cried even louder. I kept apologize to them, and told them that it was my fault. They looked at the vegetables and told me that those were fine, But I just feel so sorry to them. They kept saying that it was fine and asked me to calm down. I went to the restroom and cried even louder. The only person I thought of right at that moment was HIM. I wanted him to lend me is shoulder to cry, I wanted to hug HIM. I wanted to go to Deli at once. But I didn't right at that second. I knew if I leave the kitchen in my red eyes, I will scare everyone in the park, and in Deli, and of course him.

I started to calm down. Chef Linda came in the restroom and told me that it was fine. There is always a Plan B for the original plan, even if I burnt the whole thing, there is still enough time to cut the vegetables again and cook it for the night. She said that I shouldn't take things so hard.

I paused and ponder a while.

Well, true. Usually I take things very hard.

That was me.

I cried. Why am I like that?

I calm down, wash my face and went out. I apologised to Chef Pam. Others act as normal, I mean ignoring me as normal.

I feel so sad. The only 3 person that asked whether I am alright is Chef Pam, Chef Pat and Chef Linda.

Well, I didn't expect others to treat me that well.

Until 3 pm, I can't stand it already. I wanted to tell someone. I went to Deli. I saw him. He was working at the cashier. I told him about the incident briefly. I don't mean to scare him, but I just feel like telling him. Then I went Deli for lunch, alone. Really want him to accompany me to eat. Then, I can tell him the whole story.

Unfortunately, I was all by myself with my food, drinks, handphone, tv etc without anyone I know there.

He was the first one to know the incident among my friends, and until right now at this second, he is the only person that knew I cried yesterday.

At night, the vegetables was cooked to be serve. The long beans and peas were burnt. But Linda said it was alright. Well, actually, for me, I don't think it is alright. But, just forget about it.

Since everyone will make mistake. The most important thing is learn from mistake.

Although it is true, I think it is a lame excuse.

For the stupid me who find excuse for myself, and don't ask properly the way to do something, I suppose I will learn from this lesson and achieve personal growth.

Happy 2009

Yeah!! This is the first blog posted in year 2009.

First time countdown, first time countdown in the United States, first time countdown during winter and it was freezing cold last night. To make you imagine how cold I am, I am wearing damn thin ROXY shorts and slippers. Ok, can imagine?

Well, since the new year resolution was posted few days ago, not to mention it again but I do really hope it will become a reality. Especially the wish that I made during the fireworks presentation.

Make a wish, Make a wish.

I thought people make their wishes when they see meteor, not fireworks. Haha, since there is no meteor, the substitute is the fireworks. But, anyway, the fireworks is very very nice. It goes along with the music played by the orchestra. OMG, I love the orchestra. The music and the fireworks blend very well.

My first New Year Countdown in Seaworld, Orlando, Florida is very memorable. The fireworks, the chilling weather, the high atmosphere, the people and the environment makes it unforgettable. However, the only drawback is he is unable to countdown with me. He was working at that time. Pretty chammm.....

And the couple sitting next to me are so sweeeeeet.....


Before the countdown starts, they were cuddling so close and tight to each other. I think it is very difficult for anyone to seperate them apart. Then when it is 2009, they started their first kiss. OMG, so romantic. The kiss lasted for quite some time, but I shy to look at them kissing, worried that they might feel weird, or I feel pai se la..

All the while, I am happy, cheerful but suddenly, I start emo-ing. That is after that incident. I did not expect my mood changes to fast. I even did not realise how and when it changes. So strange.

I know the reason. If the person is not him, I wont feel anything. The problem is, it is him.
So, I understand the changes in my mood. I never feel like this before. I think I like him more than I like anyone else in my entire life. I don't know how it started, but he really means a lot to me. Argh....LOVESTRUCK

Aiks, but I don't know how he feels.

There is something in his eyes. The way that he looks at me. The way he treats me, but......

Why 'but' again???

Remember your New Year Resolution?
Well, it is always easier to say than done.