No mood

I am watching my favourite Hong Kong drama, but I feel I am not concentrating on it. Watching tv is my favourite past time but now it seems so boring.

I have been watching tv, eating and eating and eating, sleeping extremely long hours this holidays. I feel like I am so much of wasting my time. Why cant I do something beneficial these days? The only time I dont feel like wasting my time is playing the piano. Other time justed wasted, letting it pass. So stupid.

Feel like I am craping now. Coz no mood doing anything. Even feeling my favourite chocolate tasteless.

Should I go on diet? This holiday makes me grow fat, I mean fatter and fatter. How to wear that dress to prom ah?

My pimples are popping out uncontrollably. Definitely. Eating groundnuts, ice cream, chocolate, biscuits, tom yum, curry, non stop. No point regretting.

I remember the vow. It is working. But I just ignore it. It is not the first time. STUPID!!How dare u ignore it?
See the consequences.

How my uni life going 2 be?

Can I get HKU scholarship? I might go there if I get it. Less burden 4 d family.

I am really typing nonsense.

So lame.

Should I blame myself?

MUFY result is out. It is much lesser that what I expect. I am only satisfy with Econs results. I know the only person that I can blame is myself.

Did I not work hard?
Yes, I did. but it just turn out unsatisfying.

Did I study the wrong way?
I dunno.

Can I survive in MOnash?
Hopefully yes.

Is my time management good?
I don't think so. If not, why the results sucks?

Can I stop blaming?
NO.

What should I do?
Push myself harder.

Ok, I know I have to plan myself a really good timetable before entering uni. I cant be so poor in results. I must do something. I cant waste my time. I must must must push myself harder. I cannot be lenient to myself. If not, I'll getting worse.

I am disappointing myself and my parents. When can I be on the peak? Why am I always stuck halfway? Why am I so pessimists when I tell others to be optimistic?

Do something!!