Why am I like this??

May 17, Saturday

Finally English paper is over. Accounting, Maths, CSC, and Econs is coming next week...

But I don't know why I am so mentally exhausted now..Did I studied too much?? But then I still have lots of things haven't finish yet..esp Econs..My brain memory does not have enough space..I need additional 'hard disk' for my brain ah....

I wanted to study, but doesn't have the mood, that's why end up watching movie, and of course writing this blog..

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I feel like finding someone to talk about my feelings now. But I don't know who can I find. Everyone seems 2 b so busy these days.. I feel like I am not so myself recently. I had changed into another person. I know I am an emotional person, my mood can just swift so quickly, but I never experience such a big difference before in my life. Even during SPM time is better compare to now.

I don't know what had happen to me. I need to talk to some1, at least a person that can be trusted. I wan2 be honest, don't wan2 isolate myself n keep my secret... I wanna achieve personal growth..

Arggghhh................'personal growth' again??

Yupe, that's true..this 2 words has been lingering in my mind for the past few months. I am sure it can't be removed away anymore....Anyway, this is good!! since I wanna achieve growth since a long time ago....
But I am sure that this few weeks I did not do so. I did not become better, but worse. Am I too stress??

I wish the answer is 'NO'!! But things just weren't going the way it should be going.. At least, this is not what I am hoping for...It can be better...

Suddenly, I feel myself so greedy. Why am I always expecting something more than what I am having?? Is it really true that human has unlimited wants?? Is it true that there must be scarcity in this world?

I am very disappointed with myself...

Maybe I am a pessimists...

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Sunday, Monday and there is Tuesday.....

The start of another paper, another new expectations......

And Wednesday, Thursday, FRIDAY.....FREEDOM!!!!!!!!

Looking forward to Friday.

Yupe. time flies.....

I wish I’m right

From your eyes, I guess my intuition is correct

From the way u look, I know it’s true

It is just that u do not have the courage

N I don’t have the guts.

Are we going 2 let it go,

N let it disappear.

I wished the answer is no,

But who knows??

Neither u nor I can predict the future

Or change the fate.

However, I really wish I am right

N WE have the courage.

Finals next Fri

I wish myself GOOD LUCK!!

N to u too!!!

All the best as well to MUFY students who are taking the exam starting next week.

GAMBATEH!!!!!

Last day of holiday

Today, 4th May 08, is the last day of holiday, so sad...

Although this 1 week break is short but it is relaxing, I love short break. It is the only time I can rejuvenate and re-charge my battery, but happy times is often short..

Holiday is fun. I love holidays. Holiday is the time for more movies, dramas, piano (can play more nice songs in a relaxing mood), food (I mean nice food)...maybe some people would wonder do I eat only during the holidays??
Of course not la.....food is NECESSITY!!! but during holidays, food seems to be tastier...haha...

Last week, after the trials, we went Gasoline for lunch, the food quite ok...but dinner is much more 'unexpected'...How unexpected it would be??HAhaaa....I never see such a long roti tisu before...



See??..This is the longest roti tisu that I had ever seen b4.. The roti tisu is so 'huge' that my friends n I thought we can't finish it, but our appetite are so good!! We managed to finish it!!! I feel myself so 'geng'...lolz....

Suddenly I start to think, what if I eat as such the way I did during the holidays, how will I look?? Definitely I will expand horizontally. How can I fit in my clothes, how can I achieve my new year resolution to become slimmer this year??? It seems like my new year resolution 4 every year will be the same and I can't achieve it..I am not so determine in pushing myself to do the things that I wanna achieve...

Last night, I saw him in my dream. That was the first time I saw him in my dream. Never before..And I still can remember the dream. Usually, I tend to forget what I dreamed, but the dream last night is still fresh in my memory. Maybe I never see him for some time, although it is not a very long time, but for me, it seems like I never see him for a few years already..

I refuse to wake up after the dream. I flash back the first day I saw him, I have kind of feel towards him when I saw him at first sight. I believe in love at first sight. He's the type that I like, but fate just don't pull us together. He is so near yet so far...He can be standing in front of me, or sitting next to me, but I can feel the distance between us is thousand n thousand miles away. Haiz...

Stop dreaming,...pls wake up!! My life has to go on with or without him..I still have such a long way in my life, I can't be hesitating to move on in life because of him, I have to be tough to move on in my life..I want to achieve my personal growth!!! I have to sit for finals in 2 weeks time, I have to work hard!! I can't be dreaming about him all the time!!

Yes!! move on in life and achieve your personal growth!!!

Tomorrow is a new beginning. Look at present n future, don't got stuck in the past!!