New Year Resolution

New Year Resolution

1. Print all lecture notes before attend every lecture.

2. Read and UNDERSTAND lecture notes & text book before attend every lecture.

3. CONCENTRATE in ALL lecture and tutorial.

4. Start to BELIEVE

SHAMU Tail


Believe

"Stop wondering and start to believe. Nothing is impossible when you start to believe."

5. Get HHD for all 4 units.

6. Take the initiative to do something.

7. Learn to talk more. I am too quiet.

8. Start building my resume.

9. Hope that my annual birthday wish will come true. Tell him I like him, but it is kind of difficult.

The problem is both of us are shy. I know he wont tell even if he likes me. However, if I know he likes me, I will tell him my feel towards him. I don't ever want to let go my chance anymore. I must grab the opportunity. I don't want to let go a good guy.

10. Eat more healthy food. Try to cook myself more often, Reduce meal outside.

11. Rest and play adequately. Exercise.

12. Socialize more. Don't alienate myself from others.

13. Do research on the company that I want to work with. Company industry, background etc

14. Don't spend $$ on unnecessary stuff. It is not easy to earn $$ especially it is recession right now.

15. Do research, assignment WISELY.

Understanding myself

Since this trip, only I understand my true self. This is the only time I realize I am a very quiet person. I don't really talk much. I am always by myself. doing my stuff, hardly talk to people. People hardly know me, I hardly know people. Why am I like that?? Is this what I want?

I don't think so.

Working in the kitchen is not fun at all. Always by myself, and to make matter worse, they start to ignore me. I am always alone. They refuse to talk to me, even avoid me. When I want to talk to them, they just stop their conversation, but continue it later. Wth, did I do something wrong?? Why am I treated like that?? Other friends working in other place seems to be happy with their working environment.

Luckily, that is not the working place for me for the rest of my life. If not, I will be suffering, torturing and as if killing myself right here, the place which is far far away from home. So, right now, the only thing I will do is to ignore them, do my job well, learn, gain experience and continue enjoying myself here.

Alone...though surrounding by people

Anyway, I still like to be here. The place is nice, the weather in winter is nice, although it can be hot sometimes during winter, but at least you wont feel that the sun is burning your skin.

But I miss my piano. I don't know why I want to leave my piano for another 3 months and come here. My fingers are painful.

BUT, at least, I started to learn a lot of things.

Something about MYSELF, friendship, people, working, relationship, and last but not least, the torture feeling of loving someone, but dare not tell him, and love him more and more deep. Love him more and more for no reason. Miss him everyday. Looking at our picture so often. Even worse if I do not see him for that day. Thinking of him while working, on I-ride, anywhere, anytime...

I miss you everyday.

I really really want to tell you I started to love you few months ago. I want to tell you that I can't concentrate study whenever I see you, even I force myself not to see you, I will be thinking of you.

Do you know that it is very torturing?

I want you to be my BOYFRIEND. But I don't know how to tell you. I always hope that you will know my feeling.

Unfortunately, you did not show to me that you know my feelings, neither do I tell you how I feel. Am I letting my opportunity to go away AGAIN??

I want to be with you!!

At least I understand myself. I started to grow, have personal growth. I want to change, I want to achieve personal growth. I want to be the best of myself. I want my 16 years old birthday wish to come true.

But now, I am 19 already. My annual birthday wish not yet come true yet. This is the last birthday I can make the wish. OMG, 6 more weeks to go.

SAD....



Someone please save me. I want him.

Posting nonsense again

I can't concentrate on anything now. I started to think unnecessary things starting from this morning. Sometime which is irrelevant at all to my studies. I thought of something that I told myself I wont let it happen at all after that incident. But, my mind just want to think about that. So confused. I know I don't like 'it', but I still want 'it' if no choice. What do I want?? I don't know.

Today during lunch, I am a little moody. However, after I saw him, I feel extremely different until I saw him the second time during lunch, where he is also with her. I don't know why I will feel that way but that's what I feel. I think both of them match, but I just feel kinda weird. Weird, weird and weird.....

Just cant concentrate, focus, think and do my work. Come on, assignments, tests, revisions.........

What am i trying to do right now?

I don't have the right to know so much.

Is that what you want to say? I think, perhaps, maybe it is true. Or there is also high chance I think too much. Maybe they are just normal friends or working partner. Why I want to know so much. I didn't even talk to him more than 10 sentence. But, his eyes tell me something that I think I might be correct.

No idea at all.

Who knows.

Although everytime my intuition is correct, but I will just let go of chance.

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And something which makes me frustrated is the increase in price of rental.


Increase AGAIN? The price has just gone up this year and it gonna increase again.

Terrible lion. So greedy. Never thought of us poor students but only thinking of maximising your own profit. I know firms aim to maximise profit. But, since the company has earn so much, cant the company just bear more and let us students feel less burden???

Huh??

Why recently my life is so miserable?

I feel myself so wasteful, waste a lot of my money, time, energy and always complain no time no time, but do irrelevant stuff also..

Why? I want to change but cant.

I want to fulfil that wish which I pray since form 4, but till now still unsuccessful. Or did I let go the opportunity?

So damn stupid!!

And I put so much effort on the accounting assignment and get so little marks out of it.

DISAPPOINTED!!!

Feeling myself so stupid!!

In every marketing tutorial, I feel myself so stupid. Today, I feel the same way as well, or can say, IT IS WORSE.

I hardly talk or comment in my marketing tutorial class, unlike in accounting class, where I dominate the class.

Today, in marketing tutorial, those active people (almost all of them), are commenting, asking questions, answering questions, but me, the stupid me, is just sitting there, like a stupid dumb. No idea what to say, no courage to interrupt their conversation.

How can I get my 3 marks?

To be frank, I have lost 1.5 marks.

TOTALLY GONE!!!

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The chosen company for today is Coca-Cola.

Just now i went through the net, and found this picture.

Very cute, so wanna show it.

Zebra, Leopard, Tiger ( If I did not guess wrongly. I wish I am not so dumb)

New diet coke bottle is invented. Showing 3 different animal prints. Very innovative, that's what a marketer do. But, I feel myself stupid, not the material for a marketer.

I can't be a marketer, or even give myself the opportunity to become a marketer.

I am a lousy marketer, can't promote products, can't answer simple common sense questions, can't fight for a chance for myself. Why I am like this only in marketing class, other classes I talk much more.

Is it because of the people in marketing class is too 'geng' that they give pressure to me??

I am an idiot in marketing class. Not myself. Letting others dominate.

Why don't I just ask stupid, silly questions? As long as I talk, I want to be brave. BUT, who can help me?

Only myself....I know that. But, I fail to do so.

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Those people have wide general knowledge, esp Leon, Andrew T n gang. Others also speak by asking nonsense, or silly questions, but at least they voice out. Not like the stupid me.

No wonder Joeanne say Leon has bright future. I also feel the same way. I hope I can be like him, he knows a lot...Knowledgeable guy!!

Wondering will he teach me, or tell me some of his knowledge.

Difficult. He got his gang d... Hard to get into the crowd.

I WANT TO CHANGE!!!

But saying it is no use...

Action is more important.

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I am so stupid.

I don't even know Coke sponsoring Olympic games, Summer Olympic games, FIFA World Cup.

I don't know they got 4 types of coke. Today only I know, while others knew it long long time ago.

It is Diet Coke Caffeine Free, Cherry Coke, Coca-Cola Zero and Vanilla Coke.

I don't know McD only provides Coke. No wonder when I order pepsi, they say 'tak ada'.
Why I can't think of the reason that time?? Stupid idiot.

I don't even know their main competitor is Pepsi.

General knowledge=0 mark

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No hope d....

Can't be a successful marketer.

Stick back to be accountant, with your debit and credit.

Don't ever think to major in marketing la.....U r not a marketing material...

Disappointed with myself. Never feel so depressed, so discouraged & unmotivated.

Life gonna go on...no matter what happen

Such a long time didnt blog, although today I am still very busy, I cant concentrate on doing other stuff. I just want to blog.

Funny?? Ok, yes, I admit, and weird as well...

Assignments, submissions.....everything coming in non-stop, like no end...

But this is what I call life.

At least this is a challenging life, I prefer this rather than sitting in front of the tv, nothing to do and just watching different channels aimlessly, especially when there is nothing interesting on the tv.

Maybe some people might think I am a crazy fellow, craving for more work. Well, that's me! A typical Capricorn, who prefer to do more work.

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Assignments, well, just finish 2 last week and coming weeks got more....STRESS!!!!!

But gonna do.

Who says Business students life in uni is relaxing.

I doubt that.

If u are serious with ur work, u will know being a business student is not easy.

However, sometimes in between doing my assignment. I 'enjoy' the process and the outcome. My OWN work. My OWN Assignment. COPYRIGHT RESERVED!!!

Haha...lol...

Thanks for those who help me. guide me and discuss the Biz & Econs Stats asg with me. That makes I understand the chapter better. At first, I was totally blank and have no idea what should I do, how should I start.

So, really appreciate your help. SC. Tif, Desmond, FJ, Haziq, u guys are so great!! Help me a lot..

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The Go Green Week, Walkathon and Mpac year end production has lots and lots of things to do....Some more given so much responsibility, hopefully I can handle well.

Busy with all these stuff and less time study d...

But....

Still blogging.

HAiz....

But I know I will gain a lot in these activities......Experience, time management, taking up responsibilities....Quote from Spiderman, "Great power comes great responsibility".

Although my power is not yet as great as those experienced senior, I am doing my best, putting my best effort, and of course I am still learning.

ANCORA IMPARO!!!

The year end production makes me learn to use photoshop. Thanks to Ck, but I still blur worr..... Dont angry if I am not so pro yet....Being committee is not easy...

See, I learned many things in just 5 weeks....

And also learn that decision making aren't easy!!

haha...smart !!

Tak malu ke???

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Life in Monash is stressful.

There are a lot of 'geng' people here. Talented in different aspect.

Many academic genius too........

Don't underestimate their talent.

Got lots to learn from them.

Yupe, competition is good.

And learning from others is nonetheless important.

I want to excel myself!

I want to achieve my target!

I want to achieve my dream!

I want to meet someone here!

I don't want to be a nerdddd here!!

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The real me is back!!!!

I gonna achieve personal growth!!!

Orientation bash in Sg Congkak

Well, this is such a long time since I join any camps. Even for NS, it is about 1 and a half years ago...Long long time....

So, when I know there is a camp trip, I wanted to go without hesitating, even if I am to go alone, without accompaniment by my friends. Well, of course there are people going and I can make new friends. So, friends is not an issue. Anyway, Ily went with me. Then, some new friends that I just know during the orientation week went also. Thus, no feelings of alone. Excitement is burning in my heart. I cant wait for the day to come.

On that day, 19 July, it was the day that I waited for so long. 'Fine, the day is here', I told myself.

The first person I know in my group is Lixian, and after a long conversation with her, only then I realised that she is just 1 day younger than me. No wonder we had so many similarities. I feel so good to talk with her. Then, I started to know Liem, Hafiq, Shane, Shu Yi, Shermaine, Izzy and last but not least, our buddy, Jack.

This is my group, Group 11^_^

Our group started to be so quiet and I feel so uncomfortable. Usually I talk much..Hehe....

Anyway, the ice started to break after some time. Although we still do not know each other very much, it is much more better compare to the first few minutes..

Then, lunch is just mee goreng. Not really nice, but when we are starving for food, everything seems fine. Then we played games, and it is compulsory to soak ourselves in the water. No doubt, all wet. From head to toes. The river water is so cooling, but when we have to run and look for stations with such heavy clothes and pants, walking around seems difficult for us.

So near to nature. Relaxing........

Tents like mushrooms....3-men-tent

That day's dinner was definitely a difficult and hard for us to gain. We had to cook using backwoodsman style. Ok, that is not so terrible. The most terrible and geli way is to use our hands to make bread. No mixer. Only our hands as the mixer. I mixed flour, sodium bicarbonate, sugar etc stuff, and even it mix with sand. OMG, because it is the mixture is just on a double layer of banana leaf. i don't know why I dare to try it when it is done.

Of course, we chat while making bread. Or else, life gonna be boring!!!

We chat about how disgusting the bread it, how unhygienic it is, the number of microorganism in our hands and the story goes on and on, mainly about FOOD......Then, I am promoting Ipoh food etc etc... Until sometime, we even discuss about Chinese dialects...Hokkien, the language which I understand a bit but cant really can communicate in that language. Then, Liem taught us some simple words, and I am puzzle-ing the words to become a simple sentence, and it is fun, and only at this time I know Indonesian-Chinese can speak Chinese dialects as well. I mean I thought not many can speak but through this camp, Liem and his friends communicate in Hokkien some times, haha...and I can understand a bit la....

At night was exciting. We are going in the jungle for night walk.

Before that, we played a 'TRUST' game.

However, i turned out to be less- trusting my team members, and I am the only one. While I saw other team members who are unable to trust their team members well, I was like feeling 'come on, trust them'. But when it is my turn, turn does not turn out to be the way it should be.. Haiz, I think I have to change myself la....

And before we enter the jungle, we waited for other team members to finish their expedition. While waiting, we were so sleepy that we lie down on the tar road. That's my first experience lying on tar road. My god. I don't even believe that I will do so in my entire life.

Well, I had told myself not to be scared when I enter the forest since this will be my 4th time entering a forest.But, things just don't turn out to be the way it should be...Actually I am not scared if we enter the jungle in groups. Unfortunately, they want us to enter alone. To be frank, I am extremely nervous at that time. I don't want to go in there alone. I am scared.

Finally, all our group members enter by pairs. Not so scary then.

At first, while I enter, the leaves of the plants seem like hands dropping out, as if it want to pull me away. I am freaking scared. I dare not move on. I stop and wait for Jack, wanting to go in the forest together. I know I cannot think negatively, so i have to ask help from somebody to give me courage.

And when he is talking to me, I know I am totally blank in mind. I don't even know what did I answered him.

Luckily, after some time, when i am used to the situation, it's fine.

We left the jungle at 2 am, and had our supper at 2 am--a burger. So high calorie burger and terus tidur. No doubt, gain weight d la....

I told myself, never mind la...it is just only 1 day and you will be going your normal routine again.

Well, for the next day, our group just able to get a tuna bread spread during the Food Hunt..
Desmond's group got a lot of stuff. A few loaf of breads, 7 tuna bread spread and 2 jams...
No wonder our group can't find anything. Anyway, the committee aren't so cruel to starve us la...

We still got food to eat....

And its yummy, last night burger!!!!
Luckily, it is still edible.

Actually we had planned to go to waterfall, but it is too late that time. So, unfortunately have ti cancel that activity.

There are still a lot of great experience at Sg. Congkak, but it is just that I can't manage to type it all. So, bear with me la... At least i had shared some, right?

But, to my friends, i want my photos la...Pls give me as soon as possible. This blog seems so dull without so nice pictures, our memories...

Lucky girl

Well, on the MOlympic games, I participated on the human structure, but the weather is really hot. Imagine yourself standing under the sun at 9 am to around 1 pm. Worse still, during the human structure game, we have to lie on the grass, presenting a theme.

First, is a flower.

Then, a lollipop.

Anyway, though the weather is hot, and it is dirty to lie on grass, the experience is so syok-ing.

I did not participate in the following games because there is limited quota.

Well, 'limited resources with unlimited wants'...which means scarcity, related to choice and opportunity cost...Quoting economics...Hehe..

Since the weather is so hot, and I am not participating in anymore games, why don't I leave??

Luckily I did not leave.

Why??

Because.....

there is a lucky draw session in the end, before the prize giving ceremony..,,

So???

I was so lucky.

I got the grand prize.

This is it.

Nice??

Unravel it slowly yet carefully....

See...

The true picture of it..

Though some people might feel that what's so big deal having an external hard disk.

Well, it is not merely about a free gift. It builds confidence and I learn some lessons. Sounds lame but true.

I learned to be persistent, to stay firm on what I think is the right decision. I learned to believe and trust that I can be lucky sometimes, and last but not least, I learned economics.

Ok, in this case,

marginal benefit>marginal cost

Thus, it is worth staying and be under the hot sun.

Graduation Night

Mufy graduation was on the 10 July 2008, Thursday.

JV, SC and I arrive Sheraton hotel quite early compare to others. We walk from the main entrance of the hotel to the ballroom, although not really a long way, all eyes at the lobby were looking at 3 of us. I heard someone mumbled 'hey, got function tonight.' Hey, come on, of course, it is obvious from the way we dress.

Ok, well, something unexpected happened that night.

I don't know I have to go up the stage and get the Monash Entrance Scholarship letter, and when the emcee announce that, my heart beats much more faster than usual days. I was shocked. And even worse, I was called Mr. instead of Ms. Luckily, the emcee realizes the mistake and changed it promptly.

Anyway, overall the prom night is fun. We took photos non-stop. Everyone look so different that night. The guys look smart and the girls look gorgeous. Really different from the normal faces we used to see in college.

Even fun is the lecturers performed. They were not showing strict faces, but smiling faces, superb dances. I really don't know my lecturers can dance so well..Great job, lecturers!!

The end of Mufy indicates the start of uni life, haha, and the 1st week of my uni life is so so so lucky. I really don't expect it to be so fun, at least on the first 2 days of orientation, I feel it sucks. But, since I know more new friends, things changes...

Heart breaking

I am having insomnia last night.

I found out he is currently in a relationship, the girl seems to love him very much. She is willing to sacrifice anything just for him. I don't know whether this is true or just a disguise.

How he feels towards the girl? If he acknowledges the relationship, does it means that he loves her too? But that is just less than a month. How much does he loves her?

I know I should be happy since he is happy with what he is currently doing. I know he is too good for me and I shouldn't ever thinking of to be with him.

However, I still miss him. I know I had to let go. Yes, I have told myself to move on, and I am still in the process of moving on. I have to be strong. I know I have to accept this since I did not have the courage previously, and I had missed the good times, the should-have happy moments with him.

Anyway, regretting is no longer applicable.

Now, right at this moment, I really hope he is happy.

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Ok, stop remembering sad things. Well, I reached the target that I had set yesterday. Yes, I made a few new friends. Although not very close yet, but I know that is a good starting.

People here are so 'geng'. Having people from different background, different experience, different exposure etc. Such a variety. I know I have to work much harder, to gain something more, to have valuable experience, to enrich myself, to equip myself with much knowledge like them.

This is a brand new starting of another journey in my life. Yupe, I gonna do that.

I must believe that I can.

I must do the 1 promise that I had promised myself this morning, but unfortunately I am not going to reveal it here...hehe..since this is my secret. ( Don't be hoping that I am going to reveal secret here, right?)

Yes, 'Just Do It'.

A new chapter of life

Yes, my uni life started. At last. I waited for this day to come for such a long long time.

The orientation is ok ok la...I thought I will make a lot of new friends here but unfortunately not yet. Maybe I still haven't manage to break the ice. I wonder why my communication skills is deteriorating. Wondering why?? Haiz...Anyway, I am going to take the initiative to start a conversation with new students tomorrow. Yes, I gonna do that. Sure!! I guarantee. At least 1 la...So lame target.....But at least better than zero...hehe!!



Ok, I have made up my mind and set myself my uni life to-do-list. Hehe, that is the first key to success. I don't want to regret and waste my uni life. I am not going to just study, I must learn, gain, achieve and be a better person, not letting myself to regret anymore. I won't care what people think, as long as the things that I do is a great experience for me, let me achieve personal growth, enriching myself, make more new friends..This is what I gonna do.

I am not so cruel that I gonna betray someone or cheat or do something against the law, of course.


I am still expecting more exciting, interesting experience in the uni...Haha....I am going to express my potential, no longer keeping it to myself, letting others to unravel it. I gonna do it myself..Ei, started to crap, huh??



Of course I am the one dreaming of success, make my dreams a reality, rather than crushing it. I am confident that I can achieve that since I am able to do so during secondary school. I want a successful life and uni life gonna bring me nearer to my goals in life...YEAH!!!!

No mood

I am watching my favourite Hong Kong drama, but I feel I am not concentrating on it. Watching tv is my favourite past time but now it seems so boring.

I have been watching tv, eating and eating and eating, sleeping extremely long hours this holidays. I feel like I am so much of wasting my time. Why cant I do something beneficial these days? The only time I dont feel like wasting my time is playing the piano. Other time justed wasted, letting it pass. So stupid.

Feel like I am craping now. Coz no mood doing anything. Even feeling my favourite chocolate tasteless.

Should I go on diet? This holiday makes me grow fat, I mean fatter and fatter. How to wear that dress to prom ah?

My pimples are popping out uncontrollably. Definitely. Eating groundnuts, ice cream, chocolate, biscuits, tom yum, curry, non stop. No point regretting.

I remember the vow. It is working. But I just ignore it. It is not the first time. STUPID!!How dare u ignore it?
See the consequences.

How my uni life going 2 be?

Can I get HKU scholarship? I might go there if I get it. Less burden 4 d family.

I am really typing nonsense.

So lame.

Should I blame myself?

MUFY result is out. It is much lesser that what I expect. I am only satisfy with Econs results. I know the only person that I can blame is myself.

Did I not work hard?
Yes, I did. but it just turn out unsatisfying.

Did I study the wrong way?
I dunno.

Can I survive in MOnash?
Hopefully yes.

Is my time management good?
I don't think so. If not, why the results sucks?

Can I stop blaming?
NO.

What should I do?
Push myself harder.

Ok, I know I have to plan myself a really good timetable before entering uni. I cant be so poor in results. I must do something. I cant waste my time. I must must must push myself harder. I cannot be lenient to myself. If not, I'll getting worse.

I am disappointing myself and my parents. When can I be on the peak? Why am I always stuck halfway? Why am I so pessimists when I tell others to be optimistic?

Do something!!

Why am I like this??

May 17, Saturday

Finally English paper is over. Accounting, Maths, CSC, and Econs is coming next week...

But I don't know why I am so mentally exhausted now..Did I studied too much?? But then I still have lots of things haven't finish yet..esp Econs..My brain memory does not have enough space..I need additional 'hard disk' for my brain ah....

I wanted to study, but doesn't have the mood, that's why end up watching movie, and of course writing this blog..

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I feel like finding someone to talk about my feelings now. But I don't know who can I find. Everyone seems 2 b so busy these days.. I feel like I am not so myself recently. I had changed into another person. I know I am an emotional person, my mood can just swift so quickly, but I never experience such a big difference before in my life. Even during SPM time is better compare to now.

I don't know what had happen to me. I need to talk to some1, at least a person that can be trusted. I wan2 be honest, don't wan2 isolate myself n keep my secret... I wanna achieve personal growth..

Arggghhh................'personal growth' again??

Yupe, that's true..this 2 words has been lingering in my mind for the past few months. I am sure it can't be removed away anymore....Anyway, this is good!! since I wanna achieve growth since a long time ago....
But I am sure that this few weeks I did not do so. I did not become better, but worse. Am I too stress??

I wish the answer is 'NO'!! But things just weren't going the way it should be going.. At least, this is not what I am hoping for...It can be better...

Suddenly, I feel myself so greedy. Why am I always expecting something more than what I am having?? Is it really true that human has unlimited wants?? Is it true that there must be scarcity in this world?

I am very disappointed with myself...

Maybe I am a pessimists...

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Sunday, Monday and there is Tuesday.....

The start of another paper, another new expectations......

And Wednesday, Thursday, FRIDAY.....FREEDOM!!!!!!!!

Looking forward to Friday.

Yupe. time flies.....

I wish I’m right

From your eyes, I guess my intuition is correct

From the way u look, I know it’s true

It is just that u do not have the courage

N I don’t have the guts.

Are we going 2 let it go,

N let it disappear.

I wished the answer is no,

But who knows??

Neither u nor I can predict the future

Or change the fate.

However, I really wish I am right

N WE have the courage.

Finals next Fri

I wish myself GOOD LUCK!!

N to u too!!!

All the best as well to MUFY students who are taking the exam starting next week.

GAMBATEH!!!!!

Last day of holiday

Today, 4th May 08, is the last day of holiday, so sad...

Although this 1 week break is short but it is relaxing, I love short break. It is the only time I can rejuvenate and re-charge my battery, but happy times is often short..

Holiday is fun. I love holidays. Holiday is the time for more movies, dramas, piano (can play more nice songs in a relaxing mood), food (I mean nice food)...maybe some people would wonder do I eat only during the holidays??
Of course not la.....food is NECESSITY!!! but during holidays, food seems to be tastier...haha...

Last week, after the trials, we went Gasoline for lunch, the food quite ok...but dinner is much more 'unexpected'...How unexpected it would be??HAhaaa....I never see such a long roti tisu before...



See??..This is the longest roti tisu that I had ever seen b4.. The roti tisu is so 'huge' that my friends n I thought we can't finish it, but our appetite are so good!! We managed to finish it!!! I feel myself so 'geng'...lolz....

Suddenly I start to think, what if I eat as such the way I did during the holidays, how will I look?? Definitely I will expand horizontally. How can I fit in my clothes, how can I achieve my new year resolution to become slimmer this year??? It seems like my new year resolution 4 every year will be the same and I can't achieve it..I am not so determine in pushing myself to do the things that I wanna achieve...

Last night, I saw him in my dream. That was the first time I saw him in my dream. Never before..And I still can remember the dream. Usually, I tend to forget what I dreamed, but the dream last night is still fresh in my memory. Maybe I never see him for some time, although it is not a very long time, but for me, it seems like I never see him for a few years already..

I refuse to wake up after the dream. I flash back the first day I saw him, I have kind of feel towards him when I saw him at first sight. I believe in love at first sight. He's the type that I like, but fate just don't pull us together. He is so near yet so far...He can be standing in front of me, or sitting next to me, but I can feel the distance between us is thousand n thousand miles away. Haiz...

Stop dreaming,...pls wake up!! My life has to go on with or without him..I still have such a long way in my life, I can't be hesitating to move on in life because of him, I have to be tough to move on in my life..I want to achieve my personal growth!!! I have to sit for finals in 2 weeks time, I have to work hard!! I can't be dreaming about him all the time!!

Yes!! move on in life and achieve your personal growth!!!

Tomorrow is a new beginning. Look at present n future, don't got stuck in the past!!

Lazy day...

Don't feel like studying today, since test finished yesterday, right?? Hopefully can pass it, I don't wan2 retake it when I go Monash...Anyway, the project SHOULD contribute a lot of marks...lazy 2 study d..no mood!!
Actually, I planned to study moral today(lolz....) but instead end up to friendster and look at ppl's photos...haha, that's so so satisfying...but I wanted him to upload his recent photos, but that was such a long long long time since he last upload..so sien looking at the same photos again n again..

I saw pm photos in kk, she went hiking, so syok..Suddenly thought of my secondary school days, when I was in the Girl Guides...Camping, gatherings, hiking, and all stuff of activities were the times that I enjoyed most...NOW, I feel like going hiking, a gathering, or even just a holiday, just to get away from all these stress that is suffocating me..I wonder how I managed my time when I was f4 & f5..I can manage my studies, guides activities, tuition, piano etc all at the same time, but now???... Such a failure now!!

Anyway, going back Ipoh soon, then I wont feel so stress d...instead of binging into food for satisfaction, I can release my stress, tension, dissatisfaction, anger, disappointment etc feelings through my piano....

I think I really really need a break....

Trials

Friday, 24/04/08

Trials finished d.. but don't really feel happy.though the test is over, but I still thinking of how damn bad I did in the test, esp for econs!!
I studied that the most, but just dunno for what reason, it really SUCKS!! when I looked at the 1st ques....and I really didn't study that (maybe I did flipped through that page), But I don't really remember at all..At that moment, I feel so discouraged to do the paper..I feel like my memory all gone!! Throughout the test, I just having negative thoughts that I am going to fail that...And since the last topic test for econs, I feel myself really don't understand it..I was really really disappointed with myself since econs is the highest marks among all my 5 subjects last sem..Yupe, it WAS last sem... It is really different now!!

Programming also SUCKS a lot!!Btw, I really gave up that d...

Feel like lost hope in my coming finals...

Am I going to get the results that I wanted??I dare not dream at all......