I've spent more than Rm 300 on formal clothing for this internship... Aiks... I am spending like no one's business... Spending lots of $$$ in shopping (excluding those formal clothing) ..Why it is so difficult for majority of the girls to control themselves from the temptation of shopping???
And I am afraid I would end up like her... And gonna go for some counselling session, but I hope that is not going to happen to me though... Else, I would end up in debts..=(
So, the only way is DON'T GO SHOPPING MALLLLLLLL!!!!!! but it is imposible..Or else, how to buy groceries??Ok, back to internship..
This first week of internship is really a good experince. Really learn a lot.. I have totally no regret in joining EY, despite the place I stay, and the inconvenience of taking public transport... Seriously, I am pretty sure I wont get such a fulfilling experince in any small auditing firm in Ipoh, and that's why I insist on joining EY after they offer me a place as vacation trainee (VT) here..
Well, this first week is not yet a busy one.. VTs and permanent staff were given briefing on the first 2 days, and I am placed at the TCE (technology, communication and entertainment) division.. I was totally no idea of auditing since I havent take my audit paper yet, but well, it sounds interesting when the EY staff tell us their experince as auditor in EY...
And of course, they did not forget to keep reminding us that this period gonna be very very busy, since it is year end... And we were told we must be prepared to work on xmas eve, xmas, new year eve, and definitely OT during this internship period... Well, I am prepared for OT d since the day I send my resume to EY... just that I didn't expect to work on xmas day itself...
When I started to talk with other interns, then only I realise a lot of them are from Monash, either sunway campus or those in Australia campuses... Those were back home to Msia during the long sem break... Of course, some of them from other Australia universities since this period is sem break for aussie uni... Well, but majority of them finished their 2nd year of studiess....So, no wonder i hardly know anyone coming EY for internship...
I was assigned simple job on wed afternoon and thurs, and not much to comment about those, it's just normal simple stuff, and by then only I seriously realise there is a long process to go before an audit report is done, and ready for publication!!!
Yesterday (Fri, 4 dec, 2009), my first day to go to clients place... OMG!!! It is a very very embarassing day!!!! History happen again....Embarrassing experience again like the one I face in POC in USA!!! I just don't understand why I can get so stress up, and uncontrollable...Duhhhh.......
Disclaimer: Of course not to mention the company name, and there is totally nothing to do with the company, any employee in that company, my senior... It was nobody's fault... It's just myself... My fault.. The stupid me.....
I was assigned a job to help another senior team in my division since they need help.. So, I was there in client's place.. My senior, K, give me briefing on what should I do. I was new, fresh, no idea on auditing at all... As she said: " U're very new..". Yupe.. I am. So, I am here to learn from the start, and ask whenever I have any doubts..
Ok, so, my senior K patiently teach me what should I do and the ways of doing it, and I am supposed to ask some info from clients to verify some info, which I wont be disclosing it here since that would definitely be private & confidential and I wouldn't want to end up to be in great trouble for revealing confidential info..
So, let's just focus on the embarrassing experience, I asked some info from the client and there is one part of it is regarding info on conversion of currency.. I am not sure how I gonna key in the info, and as I know from my senior, I have to ask info from client. So employee A give me the info.. Since this is the first time I am in client's place, and I don't exactly know how should I ask the info (it is not the problem of phrasing the sentence but some technical stuff), and in the end I have totally no idea what am I asking...And when I don't even know what am I asking, I can't expect ppl to understand what info I want right??? Then, at the time I am asking employee A about the info, employee B came, and therefore A ask B how/what info should she give me... And I don't really know how to ask her and end up asking 'weirdly'.. I think B is kind of person that speaks in strong tone, that's the way she talk, and as if she is angry or pissed off with someone... The way she expressed makes ppl think that she is scolding ppl or whatsoever la.. I know, it is not her fault la... Coz she is also expressing her doubts on my questions... And her tone is so strong that her colleague, A ask her to calm down.. Then, my senior K, which was doing her job with senior N in another room came out from the room and ask what happen..
At that time, I was so lost.. I feel so stupid.. Why can't I just handle my work properly and have to make up such a fuss and create trouble for others.. Giving trouble to employee A and B, my senior K and embarrassing EY as well... Senior K came out and asked what happened, and try to explain to A and B the info that I wanted...I suddenly feel so stressed up and tears drop, and symptoms of crying is there d...I know I will cry and try to stop it, but I have no control of myself... Duhhhhh... memang memalukan la... in front of senior and a few employees at clients place... Aiyoyooyoyoooo.... And as u know (and if u don't know, if I am stressed out and cry, means I cant stop. I will cry for at least half an hour, unlike if just tears dropping.. which can be wiped off)..
So, I try to control and control and control.... Listening to senior K explain to employee A and B.. And when I reach the maximum point, and I know that it is the worse point d... I need to hide.. I told senior K to explain to me later... I brought the laptop with me, went in the room where Senior K and Senior N is working, and crieddd... non stop crying..OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! So stupid la....how can I do this on my first day at client's place???? OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I reddened my eyes, and stop for a while, then hide in the toilet to continue crying... And back to the room a gain.... I am pretty sure the whole process take at least half an hour.... Haizzzzzzzz.... Is not that I don't want to stop, but it's just that I can't stop!!! Why ah?? Everytime also like this, since small till now also like this, in Ipoh also like this, in USA also like this.... Now going to step into my 20s d, also like this..... When will I grow ah??? When can I learn to control myself ah???
Nonetheless, at least, I know my weakness..
During lunch, senior N told me that this is alright, every junior will make a mistake.. It is good since u ask when u don't know. At least, ppl know u don't understand. It's much better than u keep everything to yourself and ended up doing everything wrong... Then, definitely will be scolded by seniors or boss....Senior K told me that B talks that way, she doesn't mean anything offensive.. Yes, I didn't blame anyone, i know it is my problem, and Ms Linda Loke (my piano teacher) was right. She told me this when I was Form 5,
"Shin Yin, since I know u so long, I know u will cry suddenly when u are stressed and can't perform what I expect from u.. But, what if other ppl who don't know u?? Ppl will be shocked or scared of by u when u cried out of sudden. U r a big girl already, don't cry so easily... U are no longer the small girl that I used to see 10 years ago..."
But why, until today, I am still like this?? Will I be like this 10, 20, 30, 40 years later????? Haizzzzzz.....
Anyway, the first day at client's place I really learnt..The small part that I did was just a minor procedure in auditing... There is definitely more to learn, more to gain, and I will be strong to survive in EY for this internship period...
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